Divorceworkshop Blog
Finding Joy After Divorce: When You Feel Like the Fifth Wheel
There's a moment after separation that no one really talks about. It's not the big moments - signing papers or moving out. It's the quiet ones, like standing on a deck at a family gathering, hearing your wedding song drift through the air, and feeling your heart crack just a little bit more.
I know this moment intimately. I lived it.
The Deck That Changed Everything
Have you ever felt like you no longer fit in after your separation? I remember the exact moment that feeling hit me. It was during my first trip up north to visit my sisters and their families after my marriage ended. I had been to this annual gathering many times before—often without my ex—but this time, everything felt different. I wasn't just attending alone; I felt alone, like a puzzle piece from a different box.
How to Build a Strong Divorce Support System: 4 Essential Pillars
Divorce is one of the most challenging transitions a person can face, often upending every aspect of life. As someone who has spent years studying and working in the field of thanatology—the science of death, dying, and grief—I’ve seen firsthand how vital a solid support system is during times of profound change. Divorce is the death of a relationship that is often complex and messy and requires tools and strategies to help navigate the emotional, logistical, and practical challenges it brings.
The Significance of Taking your Wedding Ring Off
We know it takes an average of 5 years of marital discord and conflict for a person to decide to leave the marriage. Many of those individuals are women, and the process of detaching and growing apart from their spouse was happening during the marriage itself. This means that the identity associated with the ring began to lose its value, even sentimentally. When you repeatedly attempt to salvage a marriage, and it withers away over time, the rings and all those promises made years ago no longer hold the same significance.
Why would I Ever Date again?
However, as a woman now in my 40s, I questioned my attractiveness and how I would be perceived. I was forgetting that most people I would be dating would have the same thoughts. When you're young, you carry less baggage and can focus on your life and your partner's. However, when you're dating after divorce, especially with children in the picture, it can often feel like an intricate juggling act. You have so much more to think about than just yourself and that other person. There are many things to consider when you think about going dating after divorce.