Divorceworkshop Blog
Narcissist -Am I Divorcing one? - Part 3 Things you can do
There are numerous essential factors to consider when divorcing a person who is high on the spectrum of narcissism. The traits of individuals high on the narcissist spectrum can make the divorce process especially challenging,
Narcissist -Am I Divorcing one? Part 2
Co-parenting with a Narcissist can be extremely challenging, some will try to use their children to try still to control you, they may withhold or play games with the parenting schedule or try to turn the children against you.
Parental Alienation is more common when the person is high on the narcissist spectrum. They will tell the children that their other parent is not safe, unlovable, and unavailable. People who alienate tend to find it hard to accept that their children may benefit from the other parent.
They may financially abuse you, not pay child support, and make up fake section 7 expenses such as saying the child is in college but they are working. They also may hide assets to make less money than they normally would do.
Narcissist - Am I Divorcing one? Part 1
I knew in my own marriage that something was off with my ex. He had erratic moods, used manipulation, told lies, was codependent with his mother, mean at times, blaming, financially abusive, neglectful and a master at projecting. I remember saying to him “you could have three affairs and you would twist it all around to be my fault” and he laughed and said “yes”.
50 years later Divorce Stigma is still here
Studies have said more than half or those divorcing believes there is stigma to getting a divorce. We feel this way because our beliefs and standards were put there by others not by ourselves. Think of it this way: we are raised by society to be winners, study, get a good job, good partner and become good moms and dads. When we get a divorce that means our life just exploded and we are viewed differently and we do not feel like we are winners anymore.
Divorce is…Grief!
Some changes in our lives can bring feelings of grief and in the thanatology world, we call these non-death losses. In this blog I want to talk about Divorce, which is a significant loss. Recent research has suggested that going through a divorce can be more difficult to adjust to than the death of a spouse (D.Harris, 2020). People are very surprised when that is mentioned because how could that possibly be, of course a death is much harder! As a thanatologist I know that the death of a close attachment is one of the toughest experiences you will ever go through. However, to have the view that divorce was a choice between the couple (some are) and that there is not a great amount of pain felt is not accurate. A very close attached relationship has died...but they are still alive. We may need to see them, yearn for that attachment even if unhealthy, communicate with them or have unfortunate run ins while out.